“Last Ditch” Couples Therapy Isn’t a Failure—It’s a Brave Beginning

I receive many calls from couples who say something like, “This is our last ditch effort.”

By the time we meet, they’re standing on the edge—unsure whether to fight for the relationship or walk away. There’s often a sense of urgency, exhaustion, and deep ambivalence. But here’s what I want you to know: this moment—this “last ditch” effort—is not too late. In fact, it can be one of the most honest, transformative places to begin.

As a psychotherapist, I help couples navigate not just how to stay together, but whether they should stay together. That process involves facing uncomfortable truths, revisiting old wounds, and, critically, challenging the story each partner tells about why they’re here and what’s possible.

Some couples discover that under the resentment and silence is a deep longing to be seen. Others realize that letting go is the most loving act left. Neither outcome is a failure. But both require thoughtful guidance, accountability, and emotional clarity.

I will challenge your reasons for staying and your reasons for leaving. Because decisions made in fear, anger, or urgency often lead to more pain. When we slow things down, when we bring in a third party trained to hold nuance and compassion, space opens up for real decisions to emerge—ones rooted in integrity, not just survival.

If you’re in the “last ditch” stage, know this: you deserve support that honors both your pain and your possibilities. Whether you stay or go, you don’t have to do it alone—and you don’t have to rush.

Arielle Hobbs, Owner, LMHC, CST, RLT, Murray Method I & II

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